Warning: Serious cases of March Madness have been breaking out. It’s an epidemic. The symptoms are easy to spot: Wild mood swings, total loss of attention, hysteria. I’m feeling it mostly in my bracket. That darn Virginia gave me complete nausea and upset my sense of balance. That’s how this started. All of these last-second buzzer shots and underdog victories are too much for my nervous system.

There’s no real antidote. The only thing predictable with March Madness — is that it’s totally unpredictable. No matter how scientific we try to be to create the ultimate Warren Buffet bracket, it’s impossible. Perfection doesn’t exist. So we have to get used to the aches and pains. And this year, my brackets is especially painful.

The doctor has put me on bedrest… right in front of the TV. I’m trying to stay calm and comfortable.Go Blue!